


Drink Not, Want Lots

by RunawayDeviant



Series: A Girl and Her Giant Green Rage Monster [2]
Category: Incredible Hulk (2008), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 18:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunawayDeviant/pseuds/RunawayDeviant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce should just quit while he's ahead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drink Not, Want Lots

Bruce shut his eyes as tight as they would go and tried to pretend that nothing bad was happening.

"Bruce~," one of the people in front of him cooed, "You can't hide forever, Bruce; you'll crack eventually."

"Tell us what we want to know, Banner," the other added, "Or the beaker gets it."

Bruce's eyes snapped open and he stared up at Tony in horror; "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, but we would," Darcy said, holding said beaker over the sink, "Now, where is it?"

"I swear to god, I have no idea!" he cried straining against the ropes tying him to his chair; "Steve told me he was taking it all and hiding it, but he didn't tell me where!"

"LIAR!" Tony yelled, looking rather haggard upon his lab bench perch, "Steve told you exactly where he put it, and if you don't tell us right now I will never speak to you again and Darcy will throw your babies down the drain."

Bruce send Darcy a pleading look which only resulted in her shaking the container slightly.

"Tell us," she intoned.

"Tell us where he put the coffee that isn't decaf!" Tony snarled.

"Why don't you just go buy some more!?"

"I'm giving you until the count of three and then your kids are off to the ocean. One."

"Please, no, you can't-"

"Two!"

"How do you know they aren't irradiated? They could be Hulks waiting to happen!"

"Thr-"

"The coffee's in Steve's bedroom, in his sock drawer at the very back! Please don't kill my sea monkeys!"

Tony shot off towards the door, looking like the consummate man on a mission. Darcy, meanwhile, simply smiled and placed the beaker back on the bench.

"Good choice," she said as she came forward to untie him.

"I still don't understand why you took his side," he said sulkily as she freed one of his feet, "You don't drink half as much coffee as he does."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the master of Zen, unlike you, so his whining finally made me snap. To be honest, I don't think I've punished you _enough_ for the pain you caused me this past week."

"You threatened my sea monkeys; I think that's punishment enough," he said dryly as she untied the other and made to start on his torso.

She paused just before her hands touched the rope and stared at him.

"There is never too much punishment for bad boys, Bruce," she purred, "and you have been an incredibly bad boy."

She rose up and then straddled him, settling herself upon his lap with a smirk. Bruce realised with some chagrin that his hands and body were still bound to the chair.

"I know just what to do with bad boys," she informed him, and he swallowed.

"And what's that?"

"Tie them to a chair, seduce them and leave them hanging," she said sweetly, before standing and heading for the door.

"Wha- Darcy!" he cried, but she simply waved at him and strode out into the hallway.

"Love you, Bruce; see you when someone unites you! Have fun!"

Bruce waited for a moment to see if she'd return, before slumping back on the chair.

"Well played, Darcy," he muttered, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with himself until someone found him and took pity, "Well played."


End file.
